Plagg's Plan
by retroGrape117
Summary: When the reveal happens, Plagg will be ready, just in case anything isn't perfect. Oneshot, crackfic, reveal, Adrienette, yadda yadda yadda.
1. Chapter 1

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**this is a thicc craccficc written at three in the morning**

**also we stan plagg**

**but we do not stan the fact that I don't own miraculous**

**enjoy**

* * *

Adrien had no idea that he wasn't supposed to detransform in that alleyway. All he knew was that if he didn't get somewhere private, Paris would know his identity, and that wasn't high on his to-do list. And there was a perfect, empty alley _right there_, so Adrien jumped in as his last pad was flashing.

However, it seemed Ladybug had the same idea. Of course, it was bound to happen sometime.

"Oh, hey; m'lady! I was just—" Adrien began, feeling a bit awkward. And then, just as Ladybug's last spot flashed for its final time as well, Adrien detransformed.

At first, he just stood there, dumbstruck. _Did that just happen?_ he wondered. And then he realized he was looking directly at Marinette, who had just...

detransformed.

It was at that moment that Adrien realized Marinette was Ladybug.

-:|:-

Marinette, having just defeated an akuma, was particularly tired out. In fact, her last spot was flashing and she knew that unless she wanted Paris to know who she was under the mask, she needed to find somewhere close to detransform. Luckily, there was an empty alleyway just below her, so she dropped into it, detransforming when she hit the ground.

And then saw Chat Noir turn into Adrien, which was not cool.

And then realized that meant Adrien _was_ Chat Noir, which was _really_ not cool.

This is where I come in and save the day. But first, a little bit of backstory.

When Master Fu first gave me to Adrien, I had no idea his love life would be so complicated. It's almost laughable, really. You see, he likes Ladybug, who is Marinette, who likes Adrien, who is Chat Noir. So basically, they like each other but don't at the same time _because_ they like each other. By the way, that took me a few days of thinking to figure out. Word to the wise: stick with cheese.

But, from experience, I've learned that most humans would ask themselves do they like Chat Noir? or Adrien? which just seems stupid to me. Are you blind, or can you just not see that Adrien IS Chat Noir, and Chat Noir IS Adrien?

So, just in case these two lovebirds did not come to the conclusion that they _should be in a freaking relationship right away_, I devised a plan. Or, not so much a plan, but a speech. With some plan elements.

Back to the reveal.

Adrien and Marinette were staring at each other like deer caught in headlights, or more accurately, superheroes caught detransforming. Finally, Adrien said, "So... You're Ladybug?" like a complete _cheesebrain_, because that wouldn't lower her self-esteem, but that's not the point. The point is, it was clear to see that nothing was going to happen if I didn't do it. So, I flew between the two prepared to make my speech.

Naturally, Tikki intervened. "Plagg!" she hissed, dragging me away. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm just going to give them a nudge in the right direction, because we all know what's going to happen if I don't," I explained.

Tikki just looked at me as if my brain was missing a few pieces.

"Look, I don't have time to explain, but you'll thank me later." I pulled myself out of her grip and floated back over to the two teens (who were still staring at each other like idiots.)

"Adrien, Marinette, listen up." They perked up at that, seeming to welcome someone taking charge. "I am about to say something very important," Tikki scoffed, "so listen carefully.

"Marinette, you like Adrien, right?" A nod from her. "You would totally kiss him, right?" I continued, and she turned blushed heavily. "Well, yeah; but—"

"Cool. Adrien," I went on, turning to him. "You like Ladybug, right?" I asked, gesturing to Marinette, since I read somewhere that boys were dumber than girls and I wasn't about to take my chances with _this_ one. He hesitated, and then nodded as well. "You would kiss Ladybug?" I continued, only getting another nod.

"I thought so. And Marinette— just checking— you are Ladybug?" I received a nod from her, and her face brightened as if she suddenly realized something, which I hoped was _Adrien wants to kiss me_.

"So, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you two have wanted to make out with each other for a long time?" Still a dull nod from Adrien, though Marinette definitely seemed awake as she nodded.

I waited for a moment, hoping they would make the connection. And as painfully obvious and overly simple as it was, the two dunderheads did not get it, so I screeched, "KISS, STUPID!"

That got them going. After making sure the snogging would be more than a few seconds, (just in case they had the audacity just to do a simple peck on the lips after all of my hard work) I turned triumphantly to Tikki.

She was impressed, even though she was trying to hide it by looking angry.

"Admit it," I started, "without me, that wouldn't have happened for another month or two, and that would have been _painful_."

Begrudgingly, Tikki admitted, "Fine. Thank you."

By the way, Tikki has said that about six times in the last millennia, so I felt like I had done a very good job. Wanting to end on a high note, I resolved to leave. My job was done.

"Hey, Adrien," I said, turning around, "time to go-oookay, I did not need to see that," I finished, turning to face Tikki. "Okay, maybe I didn't think this through that well."

Needless to say, Tikki was amused.

* * *

**Woohoo! My first:**

**-oneshot**

**-crackfic**

**and**

**-thing I've finished.**

**Anyone who has read any of my other fanfics, don't worry! Updates are coming! Soonish. (maybe in a month if you're lucky. you're reading the words of a procrastinator here, so.)**

**Thank you for giving this fic a chance, and I will leave you with these words: What if Plagg was voice acted by Morgan Freeman?**


	2. Chapter 2: Plus Alya

**You guys asked for it. This was going to be a oneshot but nooooo, you made me write another one.**

**Fine, then.**

**Read freaking chapter two, what do I care? I'll probably be writing a lot more chapters anyways!**

**This chapter goes to diamantecintilante and Anerdandapen, who decided to ignore the completed tag and follow it. Thank you two, and I hope you like it!**

* * *

Since Adrien's father and Nathalie were on a business trip to the UK, Adrien and Marinette decided to stop at Adrien's house and talk about their relationship. I of course, did not want to be involved, but Tikki complained that our holders needed some guidance from their kwamis. Since I knew I wasn't going to win this argument, I pouted my way into Adrien's room with Tikki.

To my _utter_ surprise, Marinette was sitting in Adrien's lap, her arms wrapped around his neck. No, really; I was completely gobsmacked. I did not expect them to be cuddling at all, nosiree.

Tikki interrupted my sarcastic thoughts by saying, "First things first: you two need to set some ground rules, since you each have a superhero image you need to maintain." After a confused silence, she continued with some examples, "Are Ladybug and Chat Noir dating? What will your story be on why you two are suddenly dating? Is your relationship going to stay a secret?"

Adrien replied "Ladybug and Chat Noir are dating" at the same time Marinette suggested "Adrien was oblivious".

While Tikki started hashing things out with the new couple, I took that opportunity to phase through the floor and out of the room.

I zoomed out of the house, flying in the direction of the school. When I arrived, I looked around, eventually finding Alya showing Rose and Juleka the footage from the latest akuma, Rainwater. Creeping up, I tapped her on the side of her leg. She looked down, and I motioned her to be quiet.

Naturally, she yelled "Plagg?!" and so I had to hide while Alya explained that she thought she saw a rat and thought it had the Black Plague.

Rude.

Anyways, once Rose and Juleka were gone, Alya eagerly turned around.

"What is it, Plagg? Is Chat Noir in danger?"

A mischievous grin spread on my face. "In fact, yes. He's in danger of being made out with."

Alya just gave me a blank stare. Humans are so dense.

"Ladybug and Chat Noir are on kissing terms, Alya! This is the biggest scoop of the century!"

Alya blinked, backing up. "Wait... Kissing terms? What does that mean?"

"Well, they can't date because they're superheroes, but you will definitely get a lot more Ladynoir in the future!"

"Well, why can't they date?" Alya asked, still confused.

"Well, they kind of are, but they can't as superheroes because - Okay," I lowered my voice even more deciding to tell Alya, "I'm about to tell you something important, but you can't tell anyone, since this could endanger them if Hawkmoth finds out.

"They just found out each other's civillian identities, and now they're dating under the mask."

Alya gasped, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. Pretty dramatic, if you ask me. "Really?" She leaned towards me, her eyes brightening. "Can you tell me who they are?"

I laughed, imagining her face when I told her. "This is going to blow your mind." I paused for dramatic effect.

And then two bubbles popped out of my mouth, one red and one green.

Alya was little confused.

I groaned, remembering the stupid curse. "Sorry, but there's a curse that prevents me from seeing my holder's name. Really, I can't reveal him to you at all, but saying his name to someone else is a big no-no. And it would be a bad idea to tell him to you anyways. Sorry.

"But," I continued, "I _can_ tell you that you know both of them, and they are dating. And - oh! I gotta go!" I said, zipping past Alya and back under the bench.

Marinette and Adrien were walking up to Alya, and Marinette had a mischievous grin on her face. Alya raised her eyebrow at her and Adrien's closeness, but otherwise said nothing.

As Marinette and Adrien parted, I flew over to Adrien. "So I take it you had some fun with Marinette?" I asked, grinning devilishly.

Adrien promptly turned red and protested, "No! We just talked about how we were going to handle the reveal. And - yeah."

"And what, cheesebrain?" I teased.

He paused, sheepish. "And we - " The bell interrupted him, followed by Adrien's "crap, I'm late!" and then Adrien was running into the school building and to his class.

He was late, as usual.

After Adrien filled me in on what they did at his house, the rest of the school day was uneventful. Well, except for an entertaining bit where Adrien got a text from Marinette that read "can you get yourself a fake photoshoot right now", proceeded to do so and get out of class, and was quickly joined by Marinette. I suppose if I was a human and enjoyed sticking my tongue down someone's throat, this would have been tolerable.

(Important: the following paragraph must never be told to Tikki. If she finds out about it I will Cataclysm whoever told her. Furthermore, if she asks, the next paragraph says that I was disgusted by their make-out session.)

Actually, I was almost squealing with joy at their closeness. Usually, if this happened, it took holders a week or more to work up to here. However, thanks to my genius, these two were affectionate (understatement of the year) towards each other within 24 hours.

Also, I'm such a fanboy.

Okay. But during their something great happened. What happened was too big of a coinkydink to just be accidental, and so I think me and Tikki's luck somehow combined and made Alya walk out of the classroom right at that moment.

Another understatement of the year would be to say she was shocked. She also wanted pictures.

* * *

**Another chapter done! To tell the truth, I only got this done because I received five hundred views on the first chapter and if I break a thousand views and thirteen reviews, it'll be my**

**-most favorited**

**-most followed**

**-most reviewed**

**and**

**-most viewed fanfiction. Ever. And that's saying something, because it'll achieve what seven chapters and three years couldn't**

**Also, I've been writing fanfiction for three years. Holy crap.**

**I'm gonna work on some of my other fanfiction now, but expect an update within a month! (I'm gonna regret this)**

* * *

ey y'all this is from 7/20 I'm starting work on chapter 3, go here to beta read

betabooks dot co/signup/book/k976dg


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